I have been (not so patiently) waiting for two pieces of news from my employer.
Remember the Spanish test I was watching TV for…ahem…studying for?
I should have gotten that result back in no more than two days. As I headed to the airport for work the other day (almost one full week later), still no answers.
I was also awaiting word on a temporary job I had applied for at my company. These positions are always highly sought after.
The deadline for that had come and gone as well.
I headed to the airport a few days ago determined to get answers to these two questions while I was on call there.
After being on call for 2 ½ hours and talking with several people, I finally got the email informing me that I had done well on my Spanish test and would not have to re-test again for a long time. Yay!
I scored a 91% on the test. That driven perfectionist in me was slightly disappointed. The more rational side of me realized that I had done very well on the test and was grateful.
I found someone in the airport who knew someone that knew something regarding the job I had applied for. They had already selected all the candidates.
I was surprised at the peace I had upon hearing the news. I had prayed that I would not be disappointed. But I was still surprised. I trusted that God knew it was not the right thing for my family or me at this time.
The main reason I wanted it was to prove to myself that I could still operate in those gifts and skills I had before having children.
A number of things have happened since I started having kids to make me lose confidence in myself. One was how much my body changed. Childbirth has changed my body in some ways that losing all the baby weight will never change. (Expanded ribcage anyone?)
I have a strong background in technology; however, five years of splitting my time between staying home with little kids and pouring cokes, I had gotten a little rusty.
Ever since I began praying on the Armor of God, I noticed that my confidence level began rising. I didn’t realize how much of it I had lost in recent years.
I began to realize in these last few weeks that God actually wants us to be confident.
Does that sound wrong? Does it sound prideful?
I don’t think so.
Having confidence in who He made us to be, the purposes He has for us, and the gifts He gave us empowers us to operate in those gifts and be useful for His kingdom. (Click here for a great sermon on this topic.)
Confidence and humility work so much better together. We can be both and I believe God intends for us to be both.
I didn’t realize until recently that having a lack of confidence in myself has actually hindered me from moving forward in things He has called me to do.
And it’s all a lie from you-know-who.
It is so much more fun to have this confidence and walk out His plan for me than to sit back and cower behind fear and low self-esteem.
That same day at the airport the other day, I got called to do three flights. We were delayed going into our layover city and didn’t land there until about 12:30am.
Our crew waited out on the curb a good twenty minutes for our van to arrive. We were so tired we couldn’t even talk to each other.
When our van finally showed up, the van driver got out and was immediately apologetic for his tardiness. He explained to us that some road construction had delayed him.
He apologized multiple times for being late.
I climbed into the van with the rest of my crew. I could hear the sound of black gospel music coming from the radio. It was playing one of my favorite songs.
I chatted with him a little bit about the music and wondered to myself if he thought it was strange that a white girl knew who Marvin Sapp was.
During the ride to the hotel, as my right arm slowly froze under the very pointed a/c vent that couldn’t be closed, I began to get an impression about this boy’s life. I felt God wanted me to share something with him.
I don’t often do this kind of thing around crews and I doubted whether I would do it. It’s sometimes a vulnerable place to be, to share something about the Lord with someone in public.
I felt compelled to say yes in that moment.
After we arrived at the hotel, I waited for all the other crewmembers to tip the driver before I said something to him. One of the pilots was hanging back I think out of politeness so I wouldn’t be the last person to walk into the hotel at 1:30am.
This was the moment. I had to do it.
I simple looked at the guy and said, “I believe the Lord wants me to tell you that He is pleased with you and your humility and you won’t be driving this van for the rest of your life.” He simply smiled and said thank you.
The vision I had of him while riding in the van that night was that he would be giving his testimony someday. He would be talking about the place that he had come from and how God had brought him through.
In moments like these, it helps to have a quick getaway. I turned around and headed into the lobby with my bags.
Whew, that is over. I obeyed. Now I can relax and get my room key. I won’t be seeing that guy again.
As the other crewmembers and I waited at the desk, the same driver came over to us. He was responsible for checking us in as well!
Oh well, I thought to myself. I don’t have to be embarrassed.
I woke up on my own at 8:20 the next morning (read: 20 minutes after my alarm should have gone off).
I prayed for God to multiply my time since I had to catch a shuttle ride to the airport at 9am.
I had asked for a wakeup call at 8:30 just in case. Since I knew I would be getting in the shower when the wakeup call came, as a courtesy I called to the front desk and asked them to remove my wakeup call. After a brief delay, the woman said it was taken care of.
As I started my shower, the first call came. Ring. Ring. Ring.
Then the second call. Ring. Ring. Ring.
Then a third call. Ring. Ring. Ring.
There were no more calls and I prepared to go to the airport.
Oversleeping meant I had to use my time to get ready and didn’t have time to pray on the armor.
I took my prayer sheet with me. After settling into my seat by the window on the airplane, I got out my sheet and asked for grace to pray even with all the people and distractions around me. The man next to me was having a long phone conversation.
I managed to pray through all the pieces of armor before we took off, and then did some Bible reading.
(I also managed to read a little of my “Blogging for dummies” book).
After landing back home, I went to check my work email on my phone. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Congratulations! You have been selected…
That position that I had been praying for. The one they said had been filled. They had picked me!
I was so overwhelmed that I just had to share the news with my neighbor. He celebrated with me. (Have you ever been so excited you couldn’t contain yourself and just had to share the news with strangers?)
I called my husband first, then my parents later. (I still haven’t posted it on facebook yet).
The days that I was sitting at home, waiting to hear about my language test and this job were hard. I had prayed for patience while I was waiting; however, I was still impatient.
It wasn’t until after I got about doing His business that I got the news.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,
and all these things shall be added to you.
Whatever it is that we’re waiting for now. If we will actively seek out doing His business and His will, those things that we need will be added to us.