Today was one of those days that if I wasn’t looking for a muzzle to put on my mouth to prevent me from saying (or yelling) something stupid, I was looking for my foot to put it in afterwards.
Everything my kids were doing or saying seemed to get on my nerves.
Today was one of those days where my best just wasn’t good enough, and where my to-do list seemed to have a hole in it.
Today was one of those days that I spent hours doing backbreaking cleaning work in the house, yet it looked like I did nothing at all.
Today was one of those days that I felt as in one of those dreams where you try to run and it’s like running underwater. I seemed not to have any grace to look at a messy house and be okay with it.
I know that while my kids are little, I sometimes have to choose between having happy kids or a clean house.
My husband graciously spent much of the day caring for the kids while I meticulously cleaned the baseboards around the house of dust that has accumulated during our two years tenure here.
I worked hard all day on it, taking short breaks in between rooms. When it was time to do the last (and dirtiest) room, I had to give up and give in. I was too tired to go on.
I am that person who has a hard time starting a project and leaving it unfinished. I have a hard time letting go when it’s time to let go.
You could say that of Mary and Martha, I am Martha. A friend recently related on her blog that what God showed her about Martha was that what she was doing was not wrong, but rather when she was doing it.
My kids were playing in the living room all day with some fun toys that their cousins gave them the day before at our family’s 4th of July gathering. I really did not want to stop my massive cleaning project to play ball with them.
Playing with little kids all day does not come naturally to me. I enjoy it in small spurts. My mind was preoccupied with cleaning; however, I did stop what I was doing a few times to spend that time with them.
It wasn’t the same thing as spending time at Jesus’ feet; however, it was time to be His hands and His feet.
After throwing in the cleaning towel, I stopped to rest and watch the World Cup game with my husband while the kids played. As the game went into extra time, it was time to get ready to go to church.
Our pastor spoke on adversity tonight. He spoke about what happens when there is a major hurricane in our lives. He said we have two choices. We can lengthen that hurricane by drowning ourselves in self-pity, or we can shorten it by asking the Lord to use that hurricane to draw us closer to Him.
We have been going through a Category 5 lately and I have felt myself really struggling to have faith during this time.
I was meditating on Hebrews 11:1 last night:
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for,
the evidence of things not seen. (NKJV)
I have read or heard this verse hundreds of times during my Christian walk. However, last night the “things not seen” part of the verse particularly struck me.
I had always interpreted this verse to mean we need to have hope that the future will bring us better things. However, things not seen does not talk about the future. It talks about what presently exists but we are blind to.
What that meant for me is that faith is evidence of truths we are not presently able to see.
The enemy works primarily in our minds, trying to lie to us about our life. I need faith to have my eyes opened to all of God’s truth about my life.
My prayer tonight is that God would open my eyes to see the beautiful truths that I have been unable to see in my present situation.
I pray the same prayer for you tonight, friend.
July 6, 2014 Update:
I found the following scripture verse this morning that expounds on the verse on faith a bit:
1 Corinthians 4:17: Since we consider and look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are visible are temporal (brief and fleeting), but the things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting. (NKJV)
Therefore that which is unseen is deathless and everlasting. This verse makes me hunger even more for my eyes to be opened to that which is unseen!
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Image: Hurricane Jeanne; Courtesy Kakela Flckr